there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
