Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
