I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
