i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
