My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
