she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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