The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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