There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
