My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Me too!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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