So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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