i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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