yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
