You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
