Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i dont even know how to be here
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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