i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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