No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He? As in you personified your dick?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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