Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
