She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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