Already got asked if we're dating
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
How's work?
Spinning.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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