Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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