He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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