i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
