i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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