After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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