I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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