After last night, I could never be a politician.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
