No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
