So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize