i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They took my balls.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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