That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
