he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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