There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize