i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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