Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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