Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
