dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
this boner is exhausting
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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