If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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