We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
