ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
