before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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