i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
