is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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