On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
