Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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