I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
