He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
