you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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