i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
