These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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