So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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