if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize