my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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