i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
