How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
two words...techno handjob
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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