Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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