i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize