3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
