My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
