Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
