also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
