Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
