The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize