I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
