let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
