i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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